The wily Russian rascal is at it again. Somebody is making a bid to be my new hero, a position last held by Derek Jeter, who earned that coveted status by his policy of never marrying, and instead defiling a series of hot tawny broads, including Adriana Lima, Vanessa Minillo, and Miss World, only to drop them after a few months when the thrill inevitably wore off...bravo sir. Still I can no longer call him my hero of heroes cause he works in close proximity with notorious ass clown Alex Rodriguez, and yet does not take a bat to that asshole's skull.
Of course his supporters will argue that by committing murder, or aggravated assault as the case may be, Jeter would forfeit his position as shortstop on the Yankees and might actually be sent to prison as well. To that I say, in his cell, would he not be happy basking in the satisfaction of having destroyed a dick like A-Rod? I rest my case.
Vladimir Putin has no such qualms against murder, and has added premium poon chasing to his repertoire. He loses points for taking so long to dump his wife of 20 plus years, the woman was in her 50's for chrissakes, (better late than never I suppose), but he is rapidly making up lost ground by courting, or should I say, capturing, (cause one suspects he did not use chocolates or flowers to woo this broad, but probably had his old KGB cronies whip up some mind altering radioactive device, or employed old fashioned blackmail), a hot young 24 year old actress/model.
It is not an unqualified triumph however. For one, he is rumored to be marrying her...so stupid Vlad, so very stupid...do you not think she is going to turn 30 one day as well? For another she is Russian. However Pooty Poots puts himself in the top slot for my hero position due to the fact that this young flexible minx is a gymnast! With a gold medal no less...quite a coup for the Russian despot!
No doubt hot shit French top cat Nick Sarkozy is wincing at the news that he has been usurped as Europe's coolest fucking leader, with his model/concubine being past her prime, though still quite doable. Americans cast their eyes to the ground in shame thinking of Bill Clinton's dalliances with an assortment of fat chicks and trash, and current dickhead in chief's george w. dumbass' sham marriage to some brainless automaton twat.
Apparently I don't pull any punches when it comes to world leaders and the cooz they choose.
Tough nuts for Vladycakes however, cause although I admire his taste in bendy waifs, he remains hellbent on restoring glory to a country that never had any. What a waste of fucking time! What century are you in anyway you idiot? Didn't you get invaded enough? Is there really a situation where Russia wins when it comes to global politics? Even when you "win" a war, i.e. beating Napoleon and Hitler, at the end of the day you're still in Russia, and we all know that sucks. You have a hot little gold diggin tramp on your arm, your in charge, but your name is still Vlad and you run a backward frozen wasteland good for producing nothing but gangsters and fish eggs.
I hope Tom Brady is reading this...don't ever buy a ring Tommy baby, and if you are ever asked to become Mayor of Volgograd, tell those radiated commie retards to fuck off.
2 comments:
This blog is going to get you shot full of polonium-210. The best you could then hope for would be to get leukemia and make a speech to your blogger fans Lou Gehrig-style. Say he was a Yankee too wasn't he? Somebody fix A-Rod up with a 4.5 Sv cocktail!
Listen, I'd be more in your corner here if the Russian gymnast in question were a little better looking. She's fine, but she's no Adriana Lima is all I'm saying.
But you raise a good point about the disgraceful nature of Clinton's dailiances. It's like when I met the dude from Interpol and his girlfriend was this fucking fat cow - I thought, "That's it? That's the pay-off for indie credibility?" I was so depressing I went to Yankee game and threw a brick at A-Rod.
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