Vanity Sixx

I could not find a pic of Vanity and Nikki Sixx...the internet is useless...can we get our dear President to ban it?

I must dispel such bitter thoughts, and what better way to do that then by ruminating on Vanity, which I have not done in quite some time...or has it been mere mintues?

Not content to merely watch her onscreen or listen to her sing...come to think of it I could do without the listening...I decided to head to the local library and rent Nikki Sixx's biography about doing heroin and Vanity, not necessarily in that order.

Fun facts from the book! :

Nikki Sixx is a made up name! Who could have guessed??

His real name is Chuck Fuxalot Jr., which is a pretty cool name in its own right.

Mr. Sixx liked heroin, a lot, and he also liked Vanity. Only the best for Mr Sixx, in both women and drugs...bravo sir!

Turns out that Vanity had a vanity license plate that read HO HO HO, cause that's what Prince dubbed her when she left him. "you aint' nothing but a Ho Ho Ho"... She also liked Santa Claus a lot.

I'm telling you I was forced to read Hamlet in school a bunch of times and I don't remember that danish faggot ever doing anything that cool. I don't even think Hamlet had a car.

The most shocking aspect of Mr Sixx's life was that he apparently hung out with Jon Bon Jovi. Holy fucking shit what amount of drugs would possess any man to do such a thing?

He even relays a fine tale in which he and Jon Bon are in a German brothel together but Nikki can't get his dicky up cause Bon Giovanni keeps telling his whore jokes in his stupid ass jersey accent.

That is a sure fire way to kill a hard on, listenin to Bon Jon yammer on about chickens crossing roads that are slippery when wet.

If you are ever in a whorehouse in Dusseldorf be sure to clear your room of Samboras and Jovis...a valuable lesson for us all.

There are so many other lessons to be learned from this fine book...like exercising caution when picking your girlfriends while watching tv...that's how Mike Tyson found Robin Givens...and that is how Nikki found his one true love, before that hateful monster Jesus took her away.

I am going to fight baby jesus for Vanity...I hope he doesn't throw his holy poop on me.