Baby Jesus was drinkin some Fanta and throwing corn chips at the tv when I asked him about Twitter.
"Hey Baby Jesus, you're a pretty hip baby. You getting involved with that whole Twitter thing?"
Baby Jesus belched and cast a dirty look my way.
"Do you tweet?" I persisted.
He crushed a chip in his pudgy little fist. "Don't waste my fucking time man. Can't you see I'm watchin tv?"
I chuckled. Such a grouchy baby sometimes! "So I take it you're against Twitter."
"I got news for you. 99% of people on this planet I created are boring and stupid, and should really never even fucking talk, much less bombard me or anyone else with pathetic little updates on the miserable goings on in their pathetic little lives."
"I'm gonna tweet my peeps now that you just slammed Twittering."
Baby Jesus hit me with a fistful of corn chips. "That's exactly what I'm fucking talking about! Look at me. I'm fucking fascinating. I'm goddamned Baby Jesus! Sure as shit I'm more interesting than any of the other assholes on this globe. But would even I dare to waste peoples time by punching out some asinine banality like "I'm watching tv and throwing salty snacks at a douchebag?"
"I would read that Tweet."
"You're a fucking asshole."
"That'll make a good tweet. Baby Jesus just called me an asshole."
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