10 Harrowing War Deaths

1. Action Jackson Carl Weathers himself kicks the shit out of notorious right wing douchebag Craig T (T for Talentless) Nelson before that stupid redneck fuck is shot to death in Action Jackson. (If you don't think policing the mean streets of Detroit is war then you are fucking crazy and I don't got no time for your shit anyway)

What was harrowing about seeing a villain such as Craig T get his comeuppance? The harrowing memory of what he did to Vanity! Got her hooked on the drugs so he could have his Poltergeisty way with that Nubian angel. Rot in hell Craig T! Coach sucked!

2. "I heard two clicks!" Stupid fuck American paratrooper gets one in the gut and dies after using the little cricket noisemaking thingy in The Longest Day. Lesson learned Joe!

3. Jim Belushi cleans house and kills the aspirations of lawlessness and disrespect for authority in The Principal. (if you don't think controlling a high school in Detroit is war then you are fucking crazy...)

4. William Forsythe, right all along about that 5th column saboteur phony poseur Joe Huff/John Stone pig cop scum Brian Bosworth, is silenced before he can make the usually sensible Chains see the light, in Stone Cold.

5. Sam Neill dies...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! right after taking out the machine gun nest in a fantastically selfless and futile act of heroism in Attack Force Z (zed)

6. Bill Holden dies at the end of the pretty stupid and implausible Bridges at Toko Ri....wait a minute...Bill Holden dies at the end of Bridge on the River Kwai...after British scum Lady Alec Guiness turns traitor and whines like a little ninny girl for the Japanese to come kill him! Kill him! (Bill Holden should stay away from bridges apparently)

7. Dutch SS man takes a break from the scenic Russian countryside to vacate his bowels. Sits and dreams of tulips and chocolate perhaps when he hears the tinkling of...not pee pee...but glass! Oh my has that impish Soviet scamp tossed a potato masher grenade into the outhouse? He has! Blown up with his pants down and his ass dirty...not a good way for the smartly dressed Netherlander to go.

8. Laughing Cossack is killed by dueling Frenchmen when he simply wanted to enjoy a chuckle or two at their showdown in the Duelists.

9. Scientist and ass clown Bruce Sabbath bloody Sabbath is turned into a nerdy pulpy mess at the hands of the coldly menacing Andrew Katz in Dutch Kills.

10. George Peppard suffers engine trouble...and soon will plummet to his death in his experimental fighter as knowing German officers look on in The Blue Max. Ursula Andress smolders and somewhere, Holly Golightly looks to find a new gigolo boy toy to replace the gooey mass of Peppard that soon will splatter all across the Pomeranian plains.