So I'm watching a commercial and some douchebag is going on about how bowflex has transformed him after working about 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week...he dropped a lot of weight and feels great.
He then says he gave all his fat clothes to his fat friends...what the fuck is that all about? Why is he still hanging around fat people? What is the point of spending all that money on exercise equipment, working out for months, becoming a ripped Adonis, only to retain your fat loser friends? That clown should choke himself between the bands of his ridiculous machine.
If you are going to transform yourself into a hunka hunka gorgeousness, the most important weight you can lose is the collective flab that is your fat former friends!
As if this ass turd couldn't get any dumber he goes on to say how when his wife now sees his new killer body she gives him a little "wink"...haha...hey douchebag..why haven't you left her? If you're already married what the fuck are you wasting your time working out for? ...either get fat and happy...or lose the weight and the sea hag. You went to the trouble of losing weight and gaining muscle tone for your wife?? That's like taking a sports car driving class and then sticking with your shit box Chevy Nova.
The only winking she should be doing is blinking her eyes open and shut in despairing disbelief as you take your new chiseled physique out the door and to the nearest high school. Maybe if she had soaked the bowflex seat with a little sweat off her own fat ass you wouldn't be leaving her for that teenager with grossly low self esteem!
Lesson learned babycakes, put down the Cheetos and join the fucking gym.
Oh yeah don't forget to vote.
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